Were you ever told this as a new Mum?... "If Mumma's happy, baby will be happy"
I heard this time and time again when my son and later my daughter were born. I was told if I focussed on being happy then my bub would be calm and settled.
Later when I returned to work I found myself with mixed emotions. I was a single mum and happy to be at work interacting with adults, but equally as unhappy and feeling guilty my baby was in childcare.
Did this mean my baby was just as confused?
Within days of going back to work, I felt guilty.
Guilty for all of the work my colleagues had covered for me.
Guilty for missing the gummy little smiles.
Guilty for spending time looking at my bub because I was so busy racing around getting ready for work or to do the bedtime routine.
Guilt became a reflex. A habit.
As a parent, you feel utterly responsible for not only your child's safety but their happiness and wellbeing. Your love for your child and wish for them to be content can make you fear at times you are not good enough or doing enough for them.
The expectations you place on yourself to put your needs of your child first and give them the perfect start to life can feel like any decision you make (particularly those that are for yourself) is coming at the expense of your child's needs.
While we are taught guilt is natural, we continue to constantly want to do the best for our children. It's not so helpful when it leads you to feel inadequate or harshly judge yourself.
So, where do these feelings come from?
Feeling guilty can stem from our past experiences, our values, beliefs, and even the expectations placed on us when we were growing up. They don't have to stick with us though. If you have overwhelming feelings of mum guilt, get in touch with me. Let's chat. Let's not let this guilt hold you back from enjoying your life as a working woman, as well as a mum with precious kids.
If you are interested in learning why the feelings of overwhelming guilt make us feel 'stuck', head on over and join our upcoming webinar which discusses all of this, including hints and tips to get you feeling FREE!.
Link here (and in bio): www.trinettejaeschke.com/webinar
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