Have you experienced any complications being the breadwinner in your family?
It's a challenge as a woman to earn more than your partner. It's not only your beliefs and values that you're dealing with when you work full time. Your partner often has their own thoughts on the matter.
Let me share with you three challenges I've faced in the past.
Challenge 1: Negotiating what to do with finances
The dynamics of the household change when you are the breadwinner and earn more than your partner. Feelings of guilt can be rife. It can also be frustrating when your partner doesn't have the same financial goals as you.
For many of us ambitious women, we have financial goals and plans for the future. However, this is not always the case for the partner at home. To avoid feelings of burden and any state of unfairness, it is important to ensure you have clear discussions around money with your partner.
Challenge 2: Feeling stuck in a job you hate
It's easy to fall into this trap when you are the primary earner, especially when the money is too good to consider making a change. I have been in the position of feeling like I have no other option than to stay in a job because I didn't get the support in the workplace and at home to make changes.
My hands felt tied and I felt "stuck" in the job that wasn't bringing me any joy. I ended up believing that I couldn't leave and it made me feel miserable. If you feel like you are in this position right now, it's time to reflect on your situation. Is this really the case? What changes can you make in your life to achieve whatever your heart desires?
If you're feeling like there are no other options it's time to build a support network of other women in your situation. Reach out to your friends and talk to them about your frustrations and concerns. It'll help you to process your stress and they can give you some helpful solutions for coping.
Challenge 3: Dealing with the unrealistic expectations of a partner staying at home
It's still uncommon to have the father of your children staying at home while you are off at work, although I've seen this evolving and changing over the years. In my experience, there were unrealistic expectations about what it was like to stay at home while I was working full time. I would talk to my male colleagues at work and hear stories that their wives had everything under control at home and they could relax. I was envious and resentful when I had to drive home and find myself finishing a day's work to begin more work at home.
It was exhausting and I felt isolated from my friends and colleagues at work who appeared to have everything equally divided and under control.
Needless to say, this can be toxic for your relationship. Communication is the key.
Everyone has their own values and beliefs surrounding money. Financial stress can be a challenge for anyone in a breadwinning role, but it can be further exacerbated by the differing views of the people in your family based on money history, personalities, past experiences, and communication challenges.
If you find money issues keep popping up, get in touch with me. We'll delve deep into identifying the limiting beliefs or chronic emotions that are holding you back from achieving money flow in your life. Book a chat with me here.